Billy Porter has opened up about his HIV diagnosis for the first time.
In an essay for The Hollywood Reporter, the Emmy Award-winning star of Pose disclosed that he was diagnosed with HIV in June 2007, just a few months after being diagnoses with Type 2 diabetes.
Assisted by Pose creator Ryan Murphy for support, Porter said the “shame of that time” compounded with the shame that had already accumulated in his life silenced him from speaking out, and that he’s lived in silence for 14 years.
“HIV-positive, where I come from, growing up in the Pentecostal church with a very religious family, is God’s punishment,” explained Porter. “For a long time, everybody who needed to know, knew — except for my mother.
“I was trying to have a life and a career, and I wasn’t certain I could if the wrong people knew. It would just be another way for people to discriminate against me in an already discriminatory profession. So I tried to think about it as little as I could.
“I tried to block it out. But quarantine has taught me a lot. Everybody was required to sit down and shut the fuck up.”
Porter said he and his husband, Adam Smith, rented a house in Long Island at the start of the coronavirus pandemic due to his pre-existing condition as means of ‘protecting’ himself. It was also time for him to “stop and reflect and deal” with the trauma in his life.
The star has been in therapy since the age of 25, but recently started trauma therapy to confront the sexual abuse he suffered at the hands of his stepfather – “from the time I was 7 to the time I was 12” – and coming out at 16 in the middle of the AIDS crisis.
“There has never been a moment that I’ve not been in trauma, which is what I’ve discovered this last year. And it was my engine for a very long time. My trauma served me, my story has served me, in terms of forward motion,” said Porter.
“And as an artist, I’m grateful to have been given opportunities to work through my shit.”
Through his Tony Award-winning role as Lola in Broadway’s Kinky Boots, Porter said he was allowed him to “forgive” his father and stepfather. On Pose, he was able to convey his trauma through his character HIV-positive character Pray Tell.
“My compartmentalizing and disassociation muscles are very, very strong, so I had no idea I was being traumatized or triggered. I was just happy that somebody was finally taking me seriously as an actor,” continued Porter.
The post Pose star Billy Porter opens up about HIV diagnosis in powerful essay appeared first on GAY TIMES.
Pose star Billy Porter opens up about HIV diagnosis in powerful essay
Billy Porter has opened up about his HIV diagnosis for the first time.
In an essay for The Hollywood Reporter, the Emmy Award-winning star of Pose disclosed that he was diagnosed with HIV in June 2007, just a few months after being diagnoses with Type 2 diabetes.
Assisted by Pose creator Ryan Murphy for support, Porter said the “shame of that time” compounded with the shame that had already accumulated in his life silenced him from speaking out, and that he’s lived in silence for 14 years.
“HIV-positive, where I come from, growing up in the Pentecostal church with a very religious family, is God’s punishment,” explained Porter. “For a long time, everybody who needed to know, knew — except for my mother.
“I was trying to have a life and a career, and I wasn’t certain I could if the wrong people knew. It would just be another way for people to discriminate against me in an already discriminatory profession. So I tried to think about it as little as I could.
“I tried to block it out. But quarantine has taught me a lot. Everybody was required to sit down and shut the fuck up.”
Porter said he and his husband, Adam Smith, rented a house in Long Island at the start of the coronavirus pandemic due to his pre-existing condition as means of ‘protecting’ himself. It was also time for him to “stop and reflect and deal” with the trauma in his life.
The star has been in therapy since the age of 25, but recently started trauma therapy to confront the sexual abuse he suffered at the hands of his stepfather – “from the time I was 7 to the time I was 12” – and coming out at 16 in the middle of the AIDS crisis.
“There has never been a moment that I’ve not been in trauma, which is what I’ve discovered this last year. And it was my engine for a very long time. My trauma served me, my story has served me, in terms of forward motion,” said Porter.
“And as an artist, I’m grateful to have been given opportunities to work through my shit.”
Through his Tony Award-winning role as Lola in Broadway’s Kinky Boots, Porter said he was allowed him to “forgive” his father and stepfather. On Pose, he was able to convey his trauma through his character HIV-positive character Pray Tell.
“My compartmentalizing and disassociation muscles are very, very strong, so I had no idea I was being traumatized or triggered. I was just happy that somebody was finally taking me seriously as an actor,” continued Porter.
The post Pose star Billy Porter opens up about HIV diagnosis in powerful essay appeared first on GAY TIMES.
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